Make new friends but keep the old, one is silver and one is gold! 😂
Life can lead us down all different paths and many times we will have the opportunity to make new friends. These opportunities are presented to us in the form of starting in a new school or job as well and moving to a new area. Whatever it is that is going on in your life Make New Friends!
If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it does it make a sound? You can be the most confident, intelligent, thoughtful human being but unless someone validates those qualities about you they could be there dormant without you or anyone knowing. How many times have you felt down and a friend has cheered you up by saying something positive about you? If you think you are funny, it is probably because a friend has laughed at your jokes.
I am a very sociable person so I have made many friends and had many starts in my life, Alhumdulillah. Here are a few tips I have learnt along the way.
- Be Yourself
Be the wonderful, quirky, boring, funny, stylish, unique individual that you are. People will like you for who you are. I have never let any of my characteristics (or what others may define as disadvantages) hold me back from being me and making friends. I don’t wear make up on the school run or for work. I sometimes don’t have time to match my outfit the way Haute Hijab does on Instagram but I have a feeling that if I ever met her we would be friends. Anyone who’s going to be my friend will love me regardless. Same goes for the state of my house. I don’t care if the washing is on the sofa waiting to be folded or if yesterday’s dishes are still in the sink, if a friend wants to come over I will risk them thinking that I am messy, because -Guess what? I am messy.
- Be Confident
If I ever bump into Na’ima Roberts from Sisters Magazine, Dunia Shuaib or Michelle Obama I will in sha Allah strike up such interesting conversation that we will automatically be bffs and they will pop over and have a coffee. In reality I have met Na’ima and she is super cool but I didn’t get to ask her the questions I wanted to or bring my A game (next time in sha Allah). That doesn’t make me a less confident as a person it just means that I, like everyone else, have to work on it.
Remember that no one is better or worse than you we hold the same human value. Some people may be cooler or more stylish than others but at the heart of it, we all have the same basic needs. Not everyone will fit you as a friend or confidant. Find a friend that has the same interests as you, someone you can be your yourself with.
- Hi My Name is…..
Be sociable and take control of the situation! When I went to university I made a lot of friends because I made a conscious effort to speak to everyone without prejudice. I would go to events and walk around introducing myself to everyone. Not everyone was receptive to my approach but I made really nice friends, some of whom I am still in touch with today.
- Gyms, Book clubs, coffee mornings
Go to events, join clubs and groups that you find interesting. I got married, moved to a new area and had my first child within the space of a year. I had always been sociable and was always out with my friends or at work with friends and all of a sudden I was at home, alone, with a baby for company. Obviously I made use of the audience I had but as lovely as my boy is, he couldn’t even nod his head. I contacted my health visitor, went online and got a list of playgroups in the area. I visited as many as I could. I managed to find some really nice playgroups and made some really nice friends through the playgroups. If you are a new mum or a second time mum who is feeling a little lonely netmums has a list of national playgroups.
- Let’s go for a coffee, how about monday at 6pm?
We could be working in the same place for 5 years, leave and never meet a singe person from there ever again! So sad but it could apply to everyone. I stated a new job last year and although I knew everyone I was not invited to go out with them because they were going to the Pub and I am a Muslim (Muslims can’t be around alcohol). At first that threw me off a little but I soon realised that I had not invited them to something I can do. So I invited a group of my colleagues out for coffee (Thank God for Costa’s ) and we enjoyed it so much I organised for us to go again the following week and it soon became a weekly meet up. We have now go to spas, high tea, and even to the gym. Don’t let one difference divide you, if someone wants to be your friend they will understand that you have principles you live by and they will admire you for it, not shun you. However you also have to make an effort to find fun things they can do with you that won’t involve compromising your beliefs. I have a lot of vegan friends who don’t drink that have no qualms in saying they are not going to a pub where they serve meat. How about the new lovely Vegan cafe that just opened down the road?
If you bake it they will come!
Be the one to make plans or invite people or to you. One of the groups that I joined was weight watchers. It didn’t work for me but I met a really nice friend there we would sit together every week and talk about life. it turned out that she was also new to the area so I took her number called her and invited her over for lunch. I did the same with the playgroup mummies and to this day we are still friends. A cup of coffee in the comfort of your own home is a great idea because you are in your own environment and are able to be yourself. Don’t worry about the state of your home, houses, like people are a work in progress we shouldn’t let that stop us from using the space we have.
Here are my tips and tricks on making friends because I ♥️ making new friends. How about you? Do you have any tips on how to make new friends?
If you have any advice on how to make friends or anything I said please leave a comment. Want be friends with me or anyone else who comments please leave a comment. I love reading and replying to comments.